You are not a sexual object. Your purpose is not to stand in a kitchen cooking for an ungrateful man all day. Your purpose is not to tend to a man’s every beck and call. Your purpose is not to be on display for the whole world to see.
You are more than that. Don’t let someone take advantage of you just because they think you are weak. You are more than everything that a man tells you to be. You are more than an object for someone to use for their pleasure or for anything that you don’t like.
Reputations are a hard thing to maintain, and women have it worse because they are constantly treated as if they have no value except to suit a man’s needs. They always seem to be treated as though they are an unvalued member of society, and when they speak up it’s rebelled against because they’re living in a man's world.
If you don't live in a household with a man who treats you like that, and instead, your man treats you like a queen, keep him. Some men treat their women like a queen, others don't. If your man/women treats you that way, keep them and cherish them. They are what some people aspire to be in a relationship, and they are what some people want and are looking for in a relationship.
You are strong. Cultivate your strength so you can utilize it for when you really need it. You don’t need to dress up or do your make up just because you don’t think you look good. You are your own person, don’t let society dictate what you’re going to wear or look like. These things that people post about how they want a certain type of girl, they’re unrealistic because no girl is the same. You’re all different so don’t let a man, or anyone, tell you how you’re going to dress or act. It isn’t for them to decide.
You are not alive to be pushed around and controlled by someone who has no jurisdiction over you and your life. Don’t let people choose how you’re going to live your life when you're the one who really has the power of decision. You are not an object, and you never will be.
You are so strong.
You're a warrior. Fight.
SPECIAL SHOUT OUT TO ALL THE MALES OUT THERE
Society is harsh. It sets expectations that you can’t meet, and people have made it so that those expectations are outrageously impossible. Women don’t care about the size of your muscles or how many abs you have. What they really care about is how much love you show them.
Yes, females are really hard to understand but when you truly love someone, you get to know them. When you get to know someone, you start learning the small things about them that make them happy, sad, angry and annoyed. When you truly love someone, you notice the little things. You start to notice the way their gaze lingers on something; the way they act when they want attention; the way they get when they’re mad. Everything falls into place when you find that special someone.
Society has made males the antagonist of every story, and yes, sometimes it's the truth, but sometimes it’s pure nonsense. You are not supposed to be perfect and have tough skin. No one is perfect, and someday society will cool off and realize the amount of pressure it’s putting on everyone who decides to listen to the news or go on social media.
You aren’t supposed to be this person who never lets anything get to them. You aren’t supposed to have thick skin and hide your emotions. It’s not fair to you. It’s not fair to anyone to make them feel like they have to hide their emotions and feelings just so that they can be considered “socially acceptable.”
No one is wanting you to act like nothing bothers you, and if you do that then everyone will keep pushing you away because they don’t feel like you truly like them. No one is wishing for you to put that on yourself.
Don’t listen to society, it’s stupid. From the moment a human being stepped on the surface of this planet, someone has been in charge to decide what people should dress like, act like and feel. You are not a blob of clay that someone can sculpt to their own perfect design. It’s not healthy and it’s not right.
So just believe in yourself and do what you want to do. Ask her/him on a date. Express yourself. Believe in yourself.
SPECIAL SHOUT OUT TO ALL OF THE SUICIDAL PEOPLE OUT THERE
Whether or not you’re hiding that you’re struggling, this goes out to you. I’m struggling too. I know what it feels like to get abused, bullied, broken and suicidal. I know the temptations that your mind is putting in front of you; death, cutting and more. I know what it feels like to feel like no one is going to understand or believe you if you tell them.
Have faith in yourself and the people around you and just try. Try to simply tell someone that you’re struggling and ask for help. I know that is so much easier said than done, but it helps when someone else is there for you and who understands what you’re going through.
The struggles, thoughts and temptations that swarm your mind are lethal. If you act on them, it’s hard to stop. It’s just like drugs. It’s hard to stop doing something when you think that it helps you get out of the hole you’ve dug.
Remember that none of this is your fault. You are not the cause of the struggles of your family or friends, so don’t take it upon yourself to feel like you are the cause of it. I know what it feels like to take that burden upon yourself, and it just shatters you like glass. Don’t do that to yourself, you don’t deserve that.
Please, be strong, if not for yourself do it for the people around you. Suicide seems like the only option, I know that, I’ve been there too. But maybe it helps you get out of your mind and leave all that behind, but the destruction and ruin that it leaves behind is devastating. Your loved ones and your friends get affected more than you would ever want them affected. It never leaves them, I can promise you that. It will never leave them, it’s not something that goes away.
So just take the leap of faith that you need to take. Go tell someone, anyone, that you’re struggling. You will find the right help, and if you can’t then I am so, so sorry. I know that it seems like no one will understand but the longer you keep it inside, the stronger it grows, and the stronger the grip on you will become. So please, tell someone, anyone, and survive.
SPECIAL SHOUT OUT TO THE PEOPLE DEALING WITH PTSD
Nightmares, memories, both are scary. Sometimes things can feel so real that you don’t know how to escape them and it feels like you’re right back where you were in that moment. The hardest part of that entire situation is getting out of your memory and talking to someone or calming down.
Panic attacks happen, and they’re hard to stop. It feels like your throat seizes up and that you can’t draw a breath of air into your longing lungs. Your body shakes and sometimes you can’t stop the tears from coming out of your eyes. Everything seems to get louder and louder until it’s pounding throughout your ears and ricocheting around your brain.
Everything seems to swarm around you and it is hard to get out. You wake up in a panic, sweaty and in pain, remembering the nightmare vividly. It feels like things are closing in on you and you feel dizzy and panicky and everything just isn’t right.
All those things, being haunted by your past, it’s so hard to get out of. Getting help is a lifesaver, and I know that it is basically impossible to talk about it because it’s so horrible to speak the words out loud and hear what you’re saying, but it helps so much.
SPECIAL SHOUT OUT TO THE PEOPLE STILL IN THE CLOSET
I understand why you’re still in the closet. But you need to come out. Secrets are not good when they’re kept from everyone and everything around you. They’re so hard and stressful to hide, and it always shatters everyone if they find out from someone who isn’t you.
Your family and friends should accept you, so if you’re worried about that, then you have to suck it up and push through. Your friends, your family? They’re there for you, and they should be there for you no matter what decisions you make. If they’re not there for you, then you need to cut them out of your life and live life your way.
You shouldn’t be held accountable for what your mind decides, and you should be able to choose what you want to do with your life. You are not the one to blame for your sexuality. That sounds bogus because you are you, so it’s basically your decision, but you can’t just stop your sexuality from existing.
People are called friends because they are the people who put up with your crap no matter how stupid, big, small or hard it is. Nothing should prevent your friends from calling themselves your friends, and if your sexuality does, then they’re not really your friends.
SPECIAL SHOUT OUT TO THE MIDDLE SCHOOLERS
Middle school is tough, isn’t it. You are going through changes that you wish weren’t happening right now. You’re losing friends like crazy. You can’t figure out where to sit at lunch. Your teachers are pressuring you about high school and the next grade up. You feel like your life is spinning out of control.
Your teachers are doing a terrible job at teaching your lessons and you and your friends are ranting about them whenever. Everything seems fairly peaceful, except for the fact that everything is super chaotic behind closed doors.
You’re bombarded with people telling you how to dress, act and look. You’re dealing with a lot of peer pressure and even more stress. It feels like you’re going to get lost because you forgot your way around the school. You forget your locker combination and then your lock won’t open so you’re dealing with having to tell a teacher that. You’re dealing with so much, just take a break.
I know you probably hear this a ton, but just go get some sleep. Eat something healthy and breathe for once. Blast your favorite music in your ears and dance around the house when you’re home alone. Find someone that you love hanging out with and find every opportunity to hang out with them. Focus on yourself, don’t change yourself to fit someone else’s expectations. You are perfect the way you are, don’t forget that.
SPECIAL SHOUT OUT TO THE HIGH SCHOOLERS
Go to bed. Take a nap. Read a book. Text your friend to hang out.
Do something that gets your mind off the stress of life. College is impending, but right now that isn’t your main priority, or at least it shouldn’t be. You should focus on what you need to do today, in this moment. Your life can’t be focused on the future, just take a break and find your way around this.
Stress makes everything so much harder, I know. But you need to take a break before you exhaust yourself into oblivion. Your body needs to recharge, your mind too.
SPECIAL SHOUT OUT TO THE SINGLE MOMS/DADS
You are doing so great. Don’t worry. You are doing the best you can in this situation and you will get through this and see the other side where the grass is greener.
Your kids depend on you sometimes, and you can’t abandon them when they need you the most. Be strong, and you obviously are since you’ve made it this far. Your life isn’t ending because of this kid. It’s just beginning, and this is the beginning of the best moments of your life.
Seeing them walk, talk and start school, each moment is engraved in your memory for years to come as you watch them grow into someone who you are so proud of. Your child/children are the pride and joy of your life, no matter how complicated or annoying they are as they start growing up. Be there for them, and they’ll be there for you when you get old and gray.
Your kids will grow up, it’s inevitable. So savor these moments that you have with them right now, make the best of every situation with them. Don’t hide things from them; don’t be secretive.
The best advice I can give you is: Be the person you wanted your parents to be when you were younger.
Addictions are complicated. They’re hard to treat because if you stop completely, your body goes through withdrawal and you can die. If you don’t stop, you have an even higher chance of dying. But there are ways to get help and there are ways to stop.
Your family is worried about you; your friends are worried about you. They are worried, whether or not you realize that. The people around you notice you, they notice when you’re acting odd. It concerns them, whether or not you believe that statement isn’t up to me.
I know that sometimes drugs and alcohol are your way of handling something or someone. I know that they help calm you down, that they help with all of that, but they are making you sick. They might feel good, but they are affecting you and the people around you in a very negative way, and it needs to stop.
Children are becoming more and more addicted to drugs, and the same with adults. There are so many products out there that seem safe and seem like “fun” or anything like that, but none of them are, I promise you.
When you start, it is so hard, so, so hard. You start to feel relaxed and you feel content and just better overall. Getting high is not the answer. It never will be. What happens when you have too much and accidentally overdose? Do you really want that for someone? Do you really want someone to deal with not being able to save you when if you had told them, or just gotten help, it could stop?
Everything I’m saying, they are serious problems that people are facing in the world these days, and it will not stop. But it needs to. So get help, please.
I have included the date I entered the blogs on each blog.
If the day means something to you, feel free to just read that certain day.
My hope is that these blogs will relate to some of your lives and give you a voice through me, even if I'm a complete stranger.
Each blog is about something different, or at least not the same event.
Some may correspond with another, but none will be exactly the same.
Why don’t we live like we’re going to be gone tomorrow? We could be living the life that we see when our eyes close and we drift off into sleep, and yet here we are. Our worst nightmares are our current reality. Our fantasies are fiction. Everything isn’t as it could be. Everyday we could live like tomorrow won’t arrive, everyday we could live like our eyes won’t open to find that the sun shines on the grass once more to illuminate the morning.
We’ve been living in a world where we cower from each other. Yes, there is a pandemic. Yes, there is social distancing. Yes, all these things are reality. But that shouldn’t stop us from living our lives like we could be gone tomorrow. Who wants to spend a day hidden from the world, not interacting with other people, not trying to get out there and just live.
Our eyes close every night to recharge our bodies for the next day. Our minds create images that we see when we’re asleep, and we can sometimes have nightmares or good dreams. Our minds don’t limit those dreams to be just dreams. We could make those dreams reality, all it takes is a little faith in yourself. You don’t have to be the richest person on earth to travel the world. You don’t have to be the smartest person to finish your education. You just need faith in yourself and in your capabilities as a human being.
Everything that you go through as a person trains you for the next time that you come across something like that. We’ve all been through some type of trauma that makes us different. Whether you were abused, raped, shot or disabled in any way, we are all the same. No one has an issue that is above someone else's.
Poverty doesn’t define you. The restrictions of your body don’t define you. The amount of money in your wallet doesn’t define you. Your gender doesn’t limit you to anything. Your race doesn’t limit you.
Nothing in this world has the power to limit you. Rise up above what this world treats you as. If you’re homeless, what is to stop you from getting a job and finding the money to try to get a place to stay? If you’re an addict, what is to stop you from making a call to someone who can help you? Both of those things are easier said than done, but they’re things that people struggle with every day. They’re things that people all around the world have to deal with on a daily basis.
Most people don’t even know that more than 20% of this entire world’s population does not have access to adequate shelter. Most people don’t even know that almost 2% of the world’s population is addicted to some substance or alcohol.
Everyday life for most people isn’t complicated with those percentages. Most of us don’t even know what is happening around us in the world that we live in. The same world that we live in is experiencing major health concerns, and there are doctors dealing with overdoses, drunk driver accidents, etc. We barely know half of this information if you’re not concerned with any of it.
Live life to the fullest.
Live life like you’ll never see another sunrise or sunset.
Live life like this is your only chance.
Live life like you do in your fantasies.
Live life like you dream to.
Live a life that you would be proud of.
Live life as you.
Live life truly.
Live life like nothing can stop you.
The line was about how a mother dried the tears of her daughter when she was going through her first heartbreak. Now, I've been through a heartbreak and I know it hurts like hell. I don't know how some people do it, how they just survive and carry on like nothing has happened.
I've stayed up crying over a boy, someone who I might not even know in a couple of years.
I know what it's like to have parents who have said that they don't want you dating, only for you to go behind their back and start dating again.
The song just hit me really hard and I started thinking about it and decided I needed to write something about it and just get it out of my head.
Parents who tell their kids that they're not old enough to date are setting both the parents and child up for a rude awakening in the future. The kid obviously brought it up because they like someone, and maybe the someone asked them out already. The kid might just be seeing whether or not they need to go behind their parents backs about dating the someone.
Why is it that parents think that holding their kid back from "dating" is a good idea? I'm not a parent but I can take a guess: do they do it just to protect their kid from heartbreak? I don't really see any other reason except that maybe they'll make a bad decision.
Speaking from experience, making that bad decision is all you need to have your eyes opened up to something you never thought you would do, and it shatters you into pieces that seem impossible to glue back together.
A phrase that I've heard for a lot of my life is "the best way to learn is through your mistakes."
I've heard it said by parents, teachers and family members.
If this phrase wasn't engraved into my head I wouldn't be bringing it up, and I know it's an annoying phrase but it needs to be said anyways.
Kids know what they're doing, just as anyone else does. Whether they know if it's wrong or right is a whole different matter. If a kid is caught dating behind their parents backs, maybe they won't do it again, maybe they will.
What gives parents the right to decide that their child can't date, other than their regard for their child's health and safety?
I don't understand it, maybe I will one day, who knows.
If a child goes behind their parents backs and starts dating, their success is only rivaled by the imminent heartbreak when their relationship comes to an end.
But the parents fear of their child's safety being compromised? It's already come true, they just don't know it yet. Here's why:
Who is going to put the pieces of the broken heart back together? How hostile will this kid be after their parents aren't there for them when they needed them the most? Who is going to hug them and tell them that everything will be ok, if not the parents? What happens to the mental stability of the kid after losing a relationship with someone they liked without anyone to comfort them?
If parents are more worried about the health, relationship and safety of their kid, maybe they should be worried about something else:
How many rules does it take before a kid breaks into pieces that can't be put back together?
Saying goodbye has never been a strong suit of mine, and making it so that I am now going to enter a new terrain filled with kids I don't know only makes it so much worse of a a transition. I would never have thought that this transition from the beginning of my school career would end up ending the same as it started.
I can vividly remember worrying myself so much on the first day of school three years ago. I ended up crying on the bus, with my sister comforting me and telling me that everything would be ok. Now I've spent the past two nights crying myself to sleep over a school that is, quite frankly, a hell hole. But, when you're there, you learn to make friends and make the best out of what you have, which is what we all did, and now? Now I'm going to miss it like crazy.
Every friend and acquaintance that I've made over the last few years is now irrelevant. It's not like most of them weren't already, and some still are and I hope they will be forever.
At one point or another, you have to go through an event which causes you to have to say goodbye to people, places and things that you've come to love.
Sure, it's hard. Sure, it's painful. Sure, it seems impossible.
Is it actually impossible? No. It's no more possible than you inhaling oxygen every time you take a breath.
Sometimes things can seem impossible. Those things aren't easy to overcome, and sometimes all it takes is a breeze to push you to the breaking point or over the edge. Each person handles a situation differently, saying goodbye is more impossible for one person then it might be for another.
It's no less painful than ripping your heart out and serving it on a platter to your demons.
Sometimes saying goodbye is good, like in a toxic relationship. Other times saying goodbye is so painful, like when you have to say goodbye to someone you love.
Don't let your demons get control of your heart. Your angels are sitting on your shoulders, whether they're yours or your guardian angels' looking over you. Rely on those angels. Remember every moment that you've spent with someone you love, relish those moments. Let the feeling of remembrance flow through your body like a gulp of ice cold water during a heat wave. Don't let the negative moments in your life overpower the amazing things that have and will happen for you.
You know how some people come into your life and you just know that they’re the one? Then they’re just… not?
I think that's broken happily ever after. I think sometimes people come along and we love them, like best friends, and others are lovers.
I think divorces are just broken happily ever afters.
I don't think anyone “deserves” a happily ever after. I think it’s just how much you work at your relationship with your happiness ever after.
Best friends and lovers are basically the same thing - other than the obvious difference of matters of the heart, aren’t they? You would die for both; both would die for you. Neither would ever betray the other, unless their happily ever after ends.
I think that’s what breaks a happy ever after; when someone else comes along and meets the person who completes one of their happy ever afters. And I mean what constitutes shattering someone’s heart once they’ve given it to you on a platter? Like what makes you think that you have the honest right to go behind someone’s back - someone that’s put their trust in you to be faithful to them - and break their heart by being with someone else?
Yeah it really might be sad to think about, but it’s a thing that lots of people have to deal with.
Some people just have such bad morals that they just abandon all faith in their relationship without even breaking up with the other person before starting a relationship with someone else behind their lover's back.
And on a different note, I think a lot of people cut themselves to bleed just so that they know they’re alive.
I don't know if that makes any sense, but sometimes people are so numb inside that they doubt that they’re even alive. Like people can just see through them and like they’re invisible.
Sometimes it’s hard to know that you’re alive, you know? Sometimes it just takes a little something, even if it’s not the healthiest behavior to take up, but just something to know that you’re alive and not just a mortal ghost.
What I mean by a "mortal ghost" is someone who no one pays any attention to; someone who gets underestimated and neglected constantly; someone who is always alone. they're like a ghost, everyone just sees right through them, but they're mortal.
I get it that some people have issues with some peoples' life styles, but my question is why? If someone's life has no direct correlation or consequence to yours, why does it matter if they're gay, lesbian, strait or bi?
Some people have been put into the category of being called a "Karen" because of their tendency to complain in public spaces about things that are none of their concern. Why do people do that? I understand if they're complaining about something that could affect their or someone else's life, but if it's over something that has no effect on them, then it seems probable that they're just trying to get a rise out of someone.
I think that's why a lot of people do what they do, just purely to get a reaction out of someone.
Isn't that why all of us do anything, in essence? We do something to create a response in either ourselves or someone else. When we're bored, we try to do something to "cure" our boredom, don't we? If you look at it a different way, you'll see that we really only do something because there's a lack of activity going on in our body.
For example, when we watch TV we have to be constantly comprehending, listening and watching what's going on. When we do that, there's no doubt in my mind that'll "cure" your boredom for a while.
On the flip side, when we're sitting around doing basically nothing, we have almost no perceivable activity going on in our minds. That said, when we start to move around and do something, it creates more activity in our brains.
When we do either one of those things, we're aiming to get a reaction. That type of reaction is one that we're trying to evoke out of ourselves. Other times, we can be aiming to evoke a reaction out of someone else.
We could be simply trying to make them feel an emotion like happiness, sadness or anger; or we could be trying to make them understand something.
People shouldn't force their opinion on someone else, right? I might be wrong, or I might be right. Who knows? It's truly up to your perception of what I'm saying.
In truth, everything I say is supposed to evoke an emotion out of my readers, or is it? This blog is meant to be something that I use to put my thoughts out into the world for other people to see and hopefully relate to.
Whether you take your time reading this and then go think about what I've said, or if you skim over this and forget it all over the course of the day, I hope you enjoy it. And if you don't enjoy it, then stop reading.